"72% of americans want mail-in voting"
"well, let's put it on the ballot,
the ballot that you have to leave your house and risk your health to cast"
"how about the people who want to mail in their votes do it, and the people who don't, don't?"
"be very tall."
“Keep your head in the clouds, but your feet on the ground.”
when we don't use bread because the jews escaping from egypt didn't have bread,
but we do use the zoom app
MILLION DOLLAR IDEA:
when a celebrity is trending, if they are dead, why not have some kind of "in memoriam" emoji to let us know, so there's no need to freak out every time
if they are alive, just have it also say "IS ALIVE"
(please send my million to whomever needs it)
Myq Kaplan is a comedian named Myq Kaplan. He is a 2010 Last Comic Standing Finalist and has appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman, The Tonight Show, Louie, and many other places that you might not care about. His CD, Vegan Mind Meld, was one of iTunes top ten best-selling comedy albums.
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