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Today’s Totally Terrific Tantalizingly Tallied Top Ten Tour Tale Topics! Take 15

Day 15: Heart-ford!
1) Left NYC for the final leg of this tour! Picked up Shaun Eli along the way to Hartford.
2) Arrived at Infinity Hall in Hartford. A lovely venue! Big nice green room! With green apples! (Not sure if the apples were meant to match the room in color, but nice attention to detail if so.)
3) Did a super fun show with Shaun and other wonderful fun great comics Carmen Lynch and Ted Alexandro. Check them out, everyone! Ted has a wonderful web series called “Teachers Lounge.” (Which is a complete sentence with no apostrophe. Teachers DO lounge sometimes.)
4) Several old friends were at the show. One woman was there who had been a resident in the house I was an RA for in grad school. Rad! A+! RA. Rad. Grad. Letters! Words! Sweaters! Lord!
5) My friend Elyse from high school was also at the show, and after the show, Kasey and I drove to her home where we slept. We met her cats and baby.
6) In the morning, we woke and drove to Northampton. The crosswalks are rainbows! Why aren’t the crosswalks rainbows everywhere! It’s real fun! Also, congratulations to people who are happy about gay marriage and justice and progress and everything there is to be happy about.
7) Ate breakfast at the Green Bean. Didn’t have any green beans. DID have some greens and some beans, so I think that counts. Recommended!
8) Bought some vegan chocolates at Heavenly Chocolate inside Thorn’s in Northampton. Also, the word “thorn” is hidden in the word “Northampton.”
9) Had some tea at Dobra Tea. They have so many more teas than you could possibly try. They’re a tea tease. A TEAse. At ease. WORDS!
10) And in conclusion for now, a rhyme written for Kasey at the aforementioned tea-place (we’re a TEAm… she’s my tea-mate)… in Tea-minus 3… 2… 1…

“we’re in northampton, at a tea place that’s good for campin’ out, doing internet some chores and some other things, whatever comes, that’s our core anthem, sing it loud, drum it like thor’s hammerin’, shall i go on? you: “sure, more yammerin’!” thanks baby, i just adore your glamour and it’s beauty that might make me do more stammerin’ but i power through ’cause i’ve got pure adrenaline flowin’ through me so i can flow more like eminem, with synonyms or antonyms if i need be recantin’ ’em, recountin’ all the things there are to love of you, i’m chantin’ ’em, your countenance? enchanting like a mountain of chrysanthemums, a fountain full of dancing imps, each moment is a chance to win, i can’t begin to finish ’cause there’s only now, we’re in this, every second every minute, all the miles, all the inches, it’s a cinch, no dream, no need to pinch, agree? we’re free, we’re on a constant binge, there’s not a twinge or any hint of things much like a grinch, except for just how big his heart grew at the end, and that, my friend, is nothing that compares to how MY heart for you, i’m adamant, it cannot end, it’s not pretend, my love, constant examinin’ reveals the feels, the real appeal, the wheels that spin, the deals that win, from here in me to where you’re in, right now a tea place, this is THE place, here while we’re northampton-in’…”

Tiny rose tea in Massachusetts.

A photo posted by Kasey Holt (@kaseycarolyn) on


Today’s Totally Terrific Tantalizingly Tallied Top Ten Tour Tale Topics! Take 14!

Day 14: it’s almost over!
1) Went to Nunu, the coffee place I go in my neighborhood in Brooklyn where I live! I’m home! I did it!
2) Did a fun comedy show called Fore. Get out of the way, it’s comedy!
3) Went to my friend Giulia Rozzi’s album taping! She did it! Someday you can hear it! I encourage it! She’s great!
4) Went home! Slept in MY BED. With MY GIRLFRIEND who lives with MY SELF. (Weird way to say it but that’s MY THING!)
5) Woke up. Did tai chi for the first time in a while. It’s still there!
6) Kasey got a bagel. She loves bagels!
7) Picked up my mail from when I was gone. The world has still been happening!
8) Came to Nunu again! Routine! Must be exciting to read! TOUR! Getting ready to head off to the final weekend of the tour officially!
9) Oh, here’s a fun thing I just found out… I have just been informed that I can tell the world that my audition is included in next week’s episode of #AGT on Tuesday, June 30th at 8/7c on NBC. Thanks for now knowing/caring/sharing/whatever you feel like doing. I can’t reveal the outcome, but I can tell you what i’ve told you and encourage you to watch! Thanks also for reading all the way to the end here!
10) And finally for today… “the shortest rhyme because you’re here with me and i adore this time.”


A neat flower in D.C.

A photo posted by Kasey Holt (@kaseycarolyn) on


Today’s Totally Terrific Tantalizingly Tallied Top Ten Tour Tale Topics! Take 13!

Day 13: Now York City!

1) Drove 7.5 hours to Washington, DC. We are alive! Not DeCeased. Good name for Zombie George though: Washington DeCeased.
2) At dinner at Native Foods, a restaurant that Kasey knew from her native land of LA.
3) Did two real fun shows put on my Max Rosenblum’s Last Resort Comedy with old friend the hilarious Robert Mac and new friend the hilarious Natalie McGill and medium-lengthed friend (just right, in the parlance of Goldilocks) the aforementioned (and also hilarious) Max Rosenblum. Such a fun time!
4) Kasey made friends with some women at the show by pointing out that one of them had some toilet paper on her shoe. (The modern-day version of pulling a thorn from a lion’s paw.) Female solidarity!
5) I reiterate how great Robert Mac is, in order to also tell you you might very much enjoy his album, “Know More Robert Mac.” It’s fun to say! He says many things that are fun to hear.
6) Fell asleep during Daredevil once more. Wouldn’t be tour without it! Or would! But isn’t. Is? Woke up! Left for NYC at 7:30am in order to get rental car back in time. WILL IT HAPPEN? STAY TUNED TO THE LIST YOU’RE ALREADY READING! LIKE, KEEP READING. YOU’RE DOING IT. I’LL STOP DELAYING.
7) A confusing toll road, a GPS re-routing, undesirable traffic, people not driving perfectly, these are all things that might keep our heroes from returning the car in time! We arrive at my Brooklyn home around 12:30pm. We have to unload the rental, then go pick up MY car where I left it for the past week and a half, THEN get to the return location at LGA(irport) by 2pm. WILL WE DO IT? Suspense over. We did it! Got there at 1:53pm. NO LATE FEES! WHEEEEEE! THE TOUR IS A SUCCESS BY THIS MEASURE AND THIS MEASURE ONLY!
8) Rewarded ourselves with a wonderful lunch at Champ’s with dessert at Dun-Well Doughnuts (see picture! and reality if you can! delicious! Washington DeliCious… but in Brooklyn).
9) Returned home with the appropriate car (mine), showered, relaxed, and continued life. WE DID IT!
10) Finally for today, a welcome rhyme to Kasey from NYC and me (mostly me):
“you live here now, in now york city. you are so wow, you are so pretty. this is your town, this is your situation, this is no vacation, like an exploding nova ovation, i’m over-flowing with total elation, coinciding in cohabitation, the past is gone, obliteration, all amazing as awesome alliteration, no more antsy anticipation, just some fancy felicitations, so congratulations, mate-kins, welcome to this future we’re makin’!”
And so, is that the end of the tour blog? Not exactly! EPILOGUE BLOG COMING SOON! EPI-BLOG! We’re in NYC right now, but Friday and Saturday are two more shows that I’ve classified as “part of the tour” so a couple final days of this to come! Wheeeeeeee! It’s almost over! Dry your tears (of joy or the other thing). The future is almost!


Today’s Totally Terrific Tantalizingly Tallied Top Ten Tour Tale Topics! Take 12!

Day 12: the east coast! almost there!

1) Went to sleep in Huntsville. Before bed, Kasey watched the rest of a Daredevil episode that SHE had fallen asleep through the night before. Not me! She! We’re the same!

2) Woke up in Huntsville (phew! would be weird if I didn’t) and we hit the road for Greenville, SC, aka Shaheenville! (My friend Nick Shaheen from Greenville set up the show there, and he’s great, like a whole town full of greatness!)

3) Checked into our hotel in Greenville. Heard a man in front of us who was having a rough day say to the clerk, “If you had the kind of day I had, you’d be down at the corner looking for the crack-man.” I don’t think this man had any real experience with crack-people. But I hope he’s having a better day today.

4) Went to Whole Foods. Stocked up on food for the next day’s drive, and food for our current stomach situations. The future and the present! Two out of the three times that don’t really exist because only now does and maybe even not that!

5) Didn’t go to Trader Joe’s as well because maybe we didn’t have time to get to the show and also do that and I’m sorry Kasey that Whole Foods didn’t have the wasabi peas you wanted but I love you.

6) Went to the Warehouse Theatre where my show would happen shortly. Did a brief interview with a local reporter. “Did she ask fun questions that you enjoyed answering?” “Yes she did.” “Were they as simple and straightforward as these?” “They were even better.” “What kind of journalism is this? Self-journalism? Is that a thing?” Sure, why not, triple question/answer!”

7) Did super fun show hosted by the aforementioned Nick Shaheen, featuring lovely comedians/people/friends new and old Cary Goff, Minori Hinds, and Ismail Loutfi. The show also featured a wonderful audience. (AS HAVE THE REST OF THE SHOWS ON THE TOUR. IF YOU WERE IN ONE OF THOSE AUDIENCES, YOU WERE ALSO WONDERFUL.)

8) Watched a couple Broad City episodes before going to sleep. THAT SHOW IS GREAT. DO YOU WATCH IT? RECOMMENDED!

9) Slept. Woke. Readying to leave Greenville. Just saw that Trader Joe’s opens at 8 and that’s when we’re hitting the road so maybe Kasey will get her wasabi peas after all!

10) And finally for now, a wasabi pea-based rhyme for Kasey…

“wasabi! hot like a tamale. also like your smile that i like providing you not like a job or a hobby, but just something i enjoy bobbing for like apples, you’re made from the best stuff on earth, just like snapple, and this rap’ll cover every aisle in the grocery store, or maybe not quite every, but listen closely more, and i’ll show you the score, which is nothing to nothing, or infinite to infinite, either way we’re tied, and we’re also tied with winning it, no limits, except for time and space and maybe not those, read my mind and face, and we’ll climb to places we can find with grace, like maybe trader joe’s now, i’m on the case! to put a smile on the face of my love, Kase…”


A photo posted by Kasey Holt (@kaseycarolyn) on


Today’s Totally Terrific Tantalizingly Tallied Top Ten Tour Tale Topics! Take 11!

Day 11: Chillin’ like a Huntsvillain

1) Trying to decide a better way to say “Fell asleep watching Daredevil.” I really like the show! It’s not boring! I just watch it at night a lot!
2) Woke up in New Orleans. Wanted to go see Nicolas Cage’s future resting place at a local cemetery (apparently he’s lived in NOLA and been jailed there!) that someone told us about the night before, but we ran out of time.
3) Drove from New Orleans to Huntsville, AL. Listened to Marc Maron interview Barack Obama. You can too! (Do the drive, or listen to that episode of WTF. The podcast is probably more accessible.)
4) Listened to new Snarky Puppy album. Kasey loves them, and I love her, and I also love them. Surprise!
5) Yesterday I forgot to tell you that one of the jazz bands we saw had a tap-dancer instead of a drummer. Or maybe they also had a drummer. But definitely they had a tap-dancer.
6) Also I forgot to mention that one of my favorite comic book creators, Matt Kindt, started following me on Twitter, and I told him I liked his book “Mind MGMT” (it’s one of my favorites! read it! highly recommended!), and he said to me “mutual appreciation club.” Which means his comic book likes my comedy!
7) Shared a vegan pizza at Mellow Mushroom. Thanks for having vegan options, the south! Was proud of myself for not eating four slices when I was full after three. That means there could be pizza left over for another meal!
8) Did fun show at the Sports Page with Scott Eason, Patrick Cunningham, Gilbert Lawand, and Mike Albanese! Met a relative of comedian friend Whitmer Thomas, and a friend of comedian friend Nate Bargatze! Check these fine folks out!
9) After the show, recorded a podcast called “I Know the Manager” with Curtis Rambo, with Kasey as my fellow guest. We did it! It will be available soon!
10) It’s morning time for a morning rhyme! From me to Kasey, as we’re touring fine:
“yesterday we were in n’awlins, then we woke up and drove from there in the mawnin’, just as soon as we were done yawnin’, drove through mississippi then alabama was like “c’mon in!” … and it’s a little cooler here than a sauna, weather has been changing, been noticing flora and fauna, how one place has geckos and another has iguanas, just the kind of thing that nature nurtures and spawns there, and now onto where? greenville, scarolina, the way that state might say its name at hallowina, but it’s june now, though we’re almost julyin’, and this tour is almost done without being too tryin’, not meaning to toot your own horn or toot mine, but if you just see a bugle that happens to be lyin’ on the ground, grab it, see how it sounds, dagnabbit (do people still say “dagnabbit”? i’ll ask on “taskrabbit” or some other site on the internet, a bad habit? no, i’m no sad addict, i’m only bad at things where i’m glad to be bad at it, or maybe other things, what, the radio’s all static), so rat-a-tat-tat it, let’s get at it and gun it from huntsville to gathersville, that’s where we’re comin’ from and goin’ to and each day i’m glad to still be knowin’ you whether high in the sky (hi!) or down in the bayou (bye, you!), and each day is full of more hellos, and love in my heart that makes me start to yell those, ’cause i’m seeing colors, reds and greens and blues and yellows (and purples too but rhymes for that, it’s hard to sell those), so we’re hella close to our destination, and then we’ve got the rest of our lives to see the rest of the nation, full of jest and of patience, because life with you is just the best of vacations. (every morning i can’t wait for you to awaken.)”